Fighting Fear

One of the most difficult struggles in my life has been a fight with self worth. Over the years, I’ve suffered with body image and anxiety. I have suffered with negative body image and anxiety for years, especially during my fragile high school years. I was afraid of not being enough for people, and anytime I felt that I did not suffice, I would cave in on myself.  It eventually lead to a deep , private depression.

It wasn’t until not long ago that I finally saw that it was a spirit of fear that was constantly attacking me.  It was even making me question myself as I prepared for marriage. I  was afraid of just about everything: what family and friends would think of me, how I was going to cope with being married and living in a city where I didn’t really know many people, and I was even more afraid of the wedding night, particularly of my body being seen and being rejected for not being beautiful. It was painful to be so afraid of the vocation I had tried so hard to prepare myself for.

Looking back at everything I can see that Satan was and still is trying to steer me away from true freedom that is only found in Christ. He has tried to make me feel worthless in the eyes of those that I love, and even in my own eyes. He had tried to push me into the ground and has kicked me down over and over again. I had been fooled by the world that I wasn’t beautiful, and that I wasn’t going to be enough for my friends, my family, or society.

But why should I be afraid? Is it not true that God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of love? In his letter to Timothy, St. Paul urges the church in Ephesus not to have fear:

For this reason I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you through the laying on of my hands; for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline. Do not be ashamed, then, of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel, relying on the power of God, who saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works but according to his own purpose and grace. ( 2 Timothy  1:6-9)

Do not be afraid to be who you are; not in the sense of who you are in and to the world, but who you were made to be in Christ: Holy.  Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI said, “The world promises you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” It is easier for us to run away from the challenges in our lives; but God gives us strength to take on those challenges.

The spirit of fear will make us afraid of redemptive suffering, which is so incredibly powerful. He seeks to hold us back from true freedom, which is total reliance and trust in the will and plan of God. Fear of God’s divine love and mercy can lead to sin, and eventually destroy us.

We must pray for an exorcism of the spirit of fear whenever it should try and enter our lives. Pray to St. Michael and to your guardian angel for protection. Pray to our Blessed Mother who will protect you under her mantle. Offer up your suffering to Christ so He may use it to give you strength. I pray for all of those who deal with fear on a day to day basis. Please pray for me too.

Love,
Catholic Ruki
Enjoy this Family Force 5 video, which recently has been a song that really hits home calling on Christ as our Saviour.

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About catholicruki

Married. Mother. Catholic.

Posted on July 21, 2014, in Catholic, Confession, Conversion, Divine Mercy, exorcism, faith, fear, Gifts, Holy Spirit, Love, Redemptive Suffering, silence, strength, Trust, Virtue, Vocations and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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