A Deep Look into White Eyes

A few weeks ago, I went to visit a very special lady. Her name is Evelyn, or better known as Grandma Eve.  She and I are so alike. Our eyes, our hands, our body types, echo each others.  I remember being a little girl and I would visit her in her apartment and clean it up for her and spend the entire weekend with her, making dinners and doing the things she was unable to because of her age. I remember how she would hum as she moved about her little apartment, and how she would walk to Wal-Mart on the nice days just to get out of the house. I remember the little bowl of candies she would leave out for whoever wanted one. Her home was always warm, just like her smile.

grandma and northy

This is Grandma Eve and Northy in 201o. She still lights up when she sees North.

She has changed drastically in the past few years. She gave up her independence to live in a retirement home. Slowly, her health grew worse. She had several falling spells and new problems began to arise. She lost more than half of her body weight because of stress. Eventually she was moved to a nursing home where she could be monitored and cared for. It is truly a blessing that she is in a very good facility that takes excellent care of the residents. However, there are some things that even the best doctors can’t fix.

When I come up to visit her, I can still see my Grandmother, but I know her mind is not the same. She has grown extremely frail, and her mind plays many tricks on her. She can’t see or hear much. She doesn’t call as much. She doesn’t remember who certain people are. She doesn’t know where she is or why people keep telling her different things that are different from what she thinks are truths.

One day, she called my mother and said, for the first time, that she wanted to leave and that she wanted to go. She is lonely. Grandma lives about half an hour from where I live, and with incredibly busy schedules, it is sometimes hard to get out there. We do make an effort when we can, though.

What struck me most about hearing about her speaking those words was the reality of how the elderly people in our society are often forgotten about. It is a sad reality. It is horrible to hear about neglect and even abuse that those that came before us must endure, and often they endure it alone. Euthanasia and assisted suicide can fit right into the reality that quite often, those that are dependent because of illness and mental and/or physical incapability can be killed to keep them from pain and suffering or to allow those that must carry the ‘burden’ of their elderly to finally lay it down and abandon it.

The Catechism states:
The fourth commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude.
For the Lord honored the father above the children, and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother.
O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him. . . . Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord.
This speaks for itself. We owe a lot to our parents and our grandparents. We have a duty to care for them. Some may say that they are grumpy, too hard to handle, too sickly, or perhaps are even frustrating to work with. Jesus was patient with those that were grumpy. He healed the sick that came to Him and welcomed them with open arms. Christ said explicitly  ““Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family,you did it to me.”

We should be protecting and taking care of those who cannot care for themselves. This may mean taking time out of our day to call or visit. It may mean offering a roof over their head or making some calls to make sure they go to the best place for the care that they need. Most importantly, they need our love and they need our prayers.

While it may not be the case for all those in homes, hospitals, or in other facilities, there can at times be great feelings of despair and loneliness. Love and compassion are so crucial in life during all stages. It is true that at times it may be hard to love, but if we are loving in order to lead someone to Christ or remind them of His love then it will always do good. Pray for those that may be feeling forgotten. Pray for those who are lost in mind, but may come to remember Christs love. Pray for those who are sick that they may find healing in Jesus. Pray for those who have died, that they may be with Him.

Catholic Ruki


About catholicruki

Married. Mother. Catholic.

Posted on July 20, 2013, in Catechism, Catholic, child, death, faith, family, Love, pro-life, Virtue and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think most of that Catechism quote is directly out of the Book of Sirach. Gotta love passages so clear that the Catechism doesn’t even need to explain them in detail.

  2. I appreciate what you’re saying but it’s not always quite so cut and dried. Some family relationships are toxic and abusive and it’s healthier to not be in contact. For example, Women of Grace hosted an author with a book about healing from sexual abuse and pointed out that when the person isn’t repentant, you can forgive them in your heart but that doesn’t mean you reconcile. When offering advice about family relationships, it’s important to be aware of these situations so you won’t heap guilt upon those who are dealing with such situations.

    • You’re right. There are most definitely relationships that can be toxic due to past instances. Sometimes, distance is part of the remedy for healing. Members of the team can relate to this. We can always pray for them though and hope for their conversion and healing, even if we never get to see it manifest in our lives. God bless!

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