In Pursuit of Chastity
I can’t remember when I made the choice to save myself for marriage. I know in the 6th grade I was determined to become a nun. I think later that year, I decided against it after reflecting on the idea of a family. I was then determined to set my heart on being a wife and a mother.
Before I even fell into love with God, I think I’ve always had a fire in me. I just knew chastity was extremely important to me. I just knew in my heart I wanted to save myself for someone that meant the world to me, that loved me so much to wait for me, and who valued themselves as much as I valued myself. I was vocal about it when I was younger, but no one really took me seriously. Most of the time I was made fun of. It hurt, but I knew what the future would hold if I kept believing what was in my heart (sounds cheesy, but its totally true and good).
Fast forward to high school. It shocked me when I saw how immoral things were. Girls were promiscuous, and chivalry seemed pretty rare. Everyone was drinking, smoking something, and just generally abusing themselves all in the name of fun. Sex seemed like a prominent pastime that people talked about frequently; and if they weren’t talking about it, they weren’t afraid of making people think they were doing it in order to be part of the ‘cool and fun kids’ crowd. Pleasure seemed to matter so much to these people that they forgot about their soul and the plan God had for them.
In the 12th grade, I decided to do something a little out of the norm, and I chose to let people know about and even participate. I started a book. In this book, I would write to my future spouse. I would invite some of my friends to leave a message or sign it. It was my effort to make vocal and visible the love I had for someone I didn’t even know, but I knew was waiting for me somewhere. I certainly got some strange looks, but many appreciated where I was coming from, and I managed to be able to talk about my opinion openly with something people could actually see. I discussed that I was waiting for someone special, that my future spouse deserved the best of me, and that I would remain faithful to them.
In the beginning of university, things only got worse as I was faced with more immorality in the system and in society. People handed out condoms during aids awareness week. Classes about STD’s and how to avoid them, unwanted pregnancy and abortion, and, wait for it, how to improve sexual relationships were offered to students by students! And the University approved of them! I held onto my heart tightly. I began to pray more. I made close friends that were active in the faith (Team Orthodoxy). I learned about the Theology of the Body which discusses God’s plan for man and woman and how the body, soul, and spirit are integrated ( see link below). I recognized Christ in my heart helping me along. Above all, I learned to love God more than I ever had before and that my desire to abstain was an act of LOVE. It was a love of God, of myself, and of my future spouse.
My desire to fight against a system that wants to destroy the plan God has for man and woman in marriage is a battle I will never run from. Relationships that involve sex outside of a marriage are WRONG and are grave sins, no matter what the case (dating, serious relationship, and even during engagement). I pray for the repentance to those that feel sex outside of a marriage is a normal and fun part of being in love. True love at its strongest is before us on the cross. An ultimate gift to those that will openly accept and in return, also accept the cross. I can testify that to this day I still write in my book. I know in my heart that my waiting will never be wasted if true love and God are the goals. There is always hope, and there is always the choice to wait. Your choice will mean so much to whomever you give your heart to, and I pray it be for life in the Holy Sacrament of Marriage.
Links and Resources
Theology of the Body Links :
The Love that Satisfies by Christopher West ( This book provided me with so much information and it lead me to look further into the Theology of the Body and the sacrament of marriage and what it means in every way. Def check it out!)